It can be confusing. He says one thing, but does the opposite. She acts like she likes you but then she doesn’t return your call. He said he would be here an hour ago? What exactly is going on? The signs and signals can be hard to read but I have figured out the secret! It’s not what people SAY that matters, it’s what they actually DO that shows you who they really are!
There are so many people out there who get hurt. We believe in them. We fall in love with them and they just keep hurting us. We put our trust in people who don’t deserve it and fall into the same pattern over and over. Why is that?
Well, in my humble opinion, it’s because we want to believe the best of others. We take them at face value! We give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes we even make excuses as to why they haven’t called us back or why they broke a promise. We choose to look through rose-colored glasses because we want them to be that perfect, handsome, charming prince on a white steed.
It’s more difficult to see things as they really are. Don’t get me wrong. I know no one is perfect. People make mistakes. But if you pay attention you will see a pattern of behavior that shows their true colors. Is there a pattern of kindness? Do they apologize or take responsibility for their actions? Are they helpful when you’re in need? Or are they letting you down routinely? Do they hold your hand in public? Do they take advantage of your friendship?
Look at the behavior. People can say anything – and Politicians or people who are manipulative often do. Look beyond the words to the actions. That is where you will find a persons true nature. That is how you decide where to place your trust, faith and love.
Because as much as people will show you who they are….YOU also teach them how to treat you but what you allow. If you allow bad behavior then you are teaching them that you are not worthy of being treated with kindness. You are teaching them that their bad behavior is more important that your self-worth. You are teaching them that you deserve less than.
And that is not OK. You deserve honesty, kindness, support, friendship, truthfulness and love. Don’t hide behind a mask pretending that everything is ok when it’s not. Speak up for yourself – do it with love but be firm. Do not allow yourself to be treated less than….especially from someone who SAYS they love you.
Big Heart Hugs, Dawn