I have THE best reaction to stress! I’m not kidding! When something is bothering me and my brain is going around in circles trying to solve the problem – my body begins to clean! I vacuum, and dust and move furniture around. I cook and clean out the fridge. I get all the laundry done and organize my closet. My “problem” doesn’t usually get solved but my house looks great!
Today I was worried about my son. I tried to call him in the morning and he didn’t answer his phone so of course, I went into worry mode. I started to think of all the terrible things that could be wrong. Does that ever end? Will I still be worrying about my kids when they are 50? Because that seems horrible and impossible and exhausting.
Instead of thinking, “He’s sleeping in, or maybe his phone is turned off.” I go right to the worst conclusions. Do we all realize that we are literally making up stories in our minds and then making ourselves sick over them? My son has been having a rough time with life lately and he has some struggles. So some level or worry is warranted. But when do I let go of that and HOW? When do I stop making myself sick with worry? How do I “let go” of him enough so that I can live my life without worrying constantly about his?
Do we as parents ever totally let go of worrying about our kids? I would love to believe that there will come a time when I can sit back, relax and know that they’ve got it under control. I wonder……Maybe it’s a balancing act? Maybe we have to find a healthy level of letting go and balance it with warranted worry? I don’t know, that’s for sure. At least not today.
For today, I know he’s ok. I can breathe deeply now and move away from the cleaning products. I’m sure there’s an appropriate metaphor here…something like “I can’t control his choices but I CAN control how clean my house is?” It’s something to think about and something to work on….but in the meantime…..my house looks and smells MARVELOUS!